


The Ugly Truth

by orphan_account



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Just to be sure, M/M, idk if its an m but, rated m for language/adult humour i guess, this is a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-07 22:28:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20476340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Chuckling, Fire Spirit looks down at him, his smirk looking more and more punchable by the second. “Do you really want me to answer that question?”“Yes, I do.”“No, you don’t.”“Yes, I do.”





	The Ugly Truth

**Author's Note:**

> this is a dumb joke thanks @firespirits on tumblr for the inspo ily bro.

Wind Archer doesn’t  _ hate  _ Fire Spirit.

Sure, he’s obnoxious and arrogant- plus as a fallen spirit, it’s Winder Archer’s duty to put him in his place. Over time though, it’s become clear to Wind Archer that Fire Spirit isn’t anywhere near as malicious as he had initially seemed, and as the years have passed he’s started to tolerate the cookie, even if he is the most difficult and downright infuriating one he’s ever met.

Sorry, did I say tolerate? I mean Wind Archer  _ tries  _ to tolerate him, which for the most part isn’t too hard; as long as Fire Spirit doesn’t cause trouble and keeps his distance, he has absolutely no issue with him. Right now, however, Fire Spirit is not doing either of those things; he’s both causing trouble and not keeping his distance, standing right in front of Wind Archer in the middle of the City of the Millennial Tree, his expression smug and extremely punchable. Wind Archer decides not to waste time asking him how he actually  _ got in,  _ instead skipping straight to pointing an arrow at his head and demanding what he thinks he’s doing here of all places. Fire Spirit just continues to grin, completely unphased by the arrow being pointed at this face.

“My business here has nothing to do with you, Wind Archer,” he says, “Why don’t you just let me go and we can forget this happened?”   
Wind Archer only narrows his eyes, drawing his arrow further back. “I’m not letting you just waltz out of here, Fire Spirit,” he retorts, “Now answer my question:  _ what are you doing here? _ ” Fire Spirit laughs, his flames getting brighter and the tips taking on a blue-ish tint as the temperature around him increases. Wind Archer’s grip on his bow tightens, as he steps closer, raising his voice over the roar of the flames. “Tell me what you’re doing here,” he demands, “Unless you want to answer to Millenial Tree himself!”

At this, Fire Spirit’s grin widens, and he uses his staff to push Wind Archer’s arrow aside, a soft chuckle leaving his mouth. “Oh?” he asks, resting a hand on his hip, “What makes you think I haven’t already answered to him today?”

Wind Archer blinks in surprise, unable to speak for a few moments. He opens his mouth but no noise comes out as he struggles to choose what he wants to say in response. When he eventually does speak, it’s a quiet and confused “...  _ What? _ ” which only makes the other cookie laugh some more. “Hold on, my father caught you? _ And just let you go? _ ”   
“Caught me?” Fire Spirit raises an eyebrow, “That implies that I came here without consent- which I didn’t, by the way.”   
Gritting his teeth together, Wind Archer reaches for another arrow. “I’m not stupid, Fire Spirit,” he snaps, “Do you really expect me to believe that you were  _ invited  _ here?”

“By the Millennial Tree himself.”

“And why would he do that, huh? Give me one reason why my father would ever want to see you.”Despite his words not having any comical value, Fire Spirit laughs again, tilting his head back as his flames flicker ever brighter and hotter. Wind Archer watches, his anger quickly being replaced with confusion as the cookie wipes a fiery tear from his face and grins. “What?” he asks, “What’s so funny?”

Chuckling, Fire Spirit looks down at him, his smirk looking more and more punchable by the second. “Do you really want me to answer that question?”

“Yes, I do.”   
“No, you don’t.”

“Yes,  _ I do _ .”

Fire Spirit doesn’t answer for a while, simply giving Wind Archer a shit-eating grin as he stares him down, trying to find something, anything in his body language that will give away his motives. He observes the fire cookie closely, taking the time to spot every little discrepancy, any and everything that’s even the slightest bit out of place. When he looks closely, he can see that the collar of his cloak is wonky, the material of the garment itself significantly more crumpled than usual. His shoulder pads- which Wind Archer can only assume are an intimidation tactic- are missing, revealing the top of his jumpsuit- the side zip of which is only partially done up, yet despite his shoddy presentation, Fire Spirit looks perfectly happy with himself- proud of himself, even-

And that’s when realisation washes over Wind Archer, followed by absolute disgust as everything seems to click into place. He drops his bow, unable to stop himself from pulling a face.

Fire Spirit chuckles again and he has to fight to urge to punch him in the face. “Finally worked it out?” he asks, sounding far too smug for his own good. At his question, all professionalism, nuance and composure are lost and Wind Archer speaks, not bothering to hide the disdain in his voice. 

“Did you fuck my dad, Fire Spirit?”

Neither of them speak for a while, the silence deafening as Fire Spirit continues to smile proudly. No words leave his mouth, yet somehow the question is answered, his self-assured body language and the way his flames flicker brightly seem to mock him, giving a loud, resounding  _ ‘So what if I did? _ ’ as a reply. Wind Archer isn’t sure what else he can say; Fire Spirit isn’t causing any definite trouble- at least, not trouble that he has the ability to sort out. As much as he hates it, the only thing he can do is let Fire Spirit off with a slap on the wrist and  _ pray  _ that he doesn’t return for more.

Sighing, he drops his bow and steps aside so that Fire Spirit can go past. The cookie does exactly that, his flames nearly catching his clothes. Wind Archer has hold himself back as he goes past him, clenching his fists by his side as he settles for just imagining punching him in the face.

  
Okay, maybe he  _ does  _ hate Fire Spirit.

**Author's Note:**

> i wroite this in like ten minutes lmao


End file.
